The Audacity of Hope: My Journey to Our Daughter

2007-07-13T15:21:00.000-04:00

So its done... the agency now knows that we have stopped our fight for our little angel, Sun Yu. I think that to symbolize this end, I will close down this blog in her honour. We are looking into ways to support her - either by fostering her or by sending her care packages - so that she will know that someone, somewhere really does care about her and that the world has not forgotten about her.

I will restart a new blog, when things aren't quite as grey and sad, and I will let you all know when and where, privately.

Again, thanks to everyone for your support and your encouragement. We are so thankfull to all of you... words just can't express it well enough.

2007-07-12T15:28:00.000-04:00

Clarification:

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words of support. We have been quite literally through hell and back, with some good old torture thrown in just to make sure that we were completely done in. We could not have made it through the past 4 months without you all being there, and listening to us, and being as angry and frustrated as we have been.

A few people have asked what happened and what will happen now: the highlights of our latest meeting are that she asked us clarification questions for 1 hour. Questions about me and my upbringing, my relationships, the kids SNs, Greg's friends and what we do in our free time (what free time, I said, chuckling... nothing from her). Then she changed her tone, and Greg thought she was going to convene our next meeting with the kids... but she let it out finally that she had spoken directly with Darth Sidious and her young apprenctice, Darth Maul (I would like to choose a more powerful name, but I don't think my MIL would necessarily approve... so I will stick to Star Wars moniquers) and they had all confirmed that our project of adoption, for a 6 to 8 year old, was refused. The reasons given: we are a healthy family, but the risks are too great to all of the children; and, they would want to evaluate the child to see if she actually wants to be adopted, among other questions they would have for her. As you can see, an impossible situation- they can't assess her, she is overseas! Also, the risk to our family in their eyes was great but they could not quantify it (for instance, we have been told a few times that there is a greater risk for interruption of adoption and that this happens all the time... well, they can't produce any stats to back this up whenever we have asked. I did some digging on my own, and in the past 3-4 years, there has only been 1 known case of a Chinese older child going through an interrupted adoption. While just one child going through this is very sad, to give you an idea, in 2003-2004, there were 300 cases of child abandonned which accounted for 1% of all the cases that Social Services has dealt with in that time period. Factor in that perhaps that 1 interrupted adoption is among that 300... you get less than 0.004%... my risk factor for Zach's pregnancy was in the neighbourhood of 15%... if I am given a risk factor of 0.004%, I'll take that!). Greg was in shock and I remained tight-lipped (I expected this at some point in the meeting, thanks to an angel at our agency who prepared me for this possibility). We asked for our written report and when it would be delivered (in 1 month). We left shortly after that (she asked us another loaded question, which I refused to answer... Greg likened it to my being in the Batmobile and the protective defensive grid going up and around the car).

What does all this mean for our adopting in China? We still have a file Logged In (LID Jan 30 07) which is what the ticker up top is tracking. We also have an SN addendum, which allows us to adopt a child from 0-24 months with an SN (special needs) - this is a slightly different track, because our agency receives the files and if our list of SNs match her SN, then they would give us a call.) So yes, we can still adopt... just not a child between 6-8 yrs old. Are we devastated? Yes, we are. I have been crying buckets since Tuesday's meeting, and took yesterday off cause I was not sure if I was coming or going. We really tried very hard, and I think you all know this, but we have gone as far as we can go. We won't get the Senate's support (again, Star Wars) for sure, as another family has tried this route only to be shot down. Greg does not want to go to the Press, and neither do I. That leaves the Human Rights Commission and that could take a very long time... a very long time... and we are not prepared to go to the Commission. We had hoped for a miracle from the meeting that was supposed to have been held yesterday between Darth Sidious's boss and our agency's rep, but that was canceled due to illness.

I have started looking into the possibility of us either fostering our little angel or at least sending her care packages once a month, so that she knows that somewhere someone really does care about her.

We have trust in a higher power that He knows what he is doing with us.

2007-07-10T17:10:00.001-04:00

The Dark Side has won: we have been categorically refused for an adoption of an older child, between the ages of 6 to 8.

2007-07-09T15:41:00.000-04:00

Finding Old Friends:

Blast from the past today - I have been found by some old high school friends, and I have been introduced to Facebooks. Shelley, Dianne, Justine, Darryll have been found again! Really looking forward to getting up to speed on what they have been doing all these years. Oh my, I'm in trouble now... it gets rather addictive once you are in there!

Tomorrow is the big day, and part of me can hardly wait to get it over with while the other part of me doesn't want to go. Ignorance is bliss I guess. Hoping for Rainbows in the clouds... please let there by someone, somewhere protecting us so that we don't have to go through what we went through last time. And please, let it not be an outright refusal...

2007-07-05T15:42:00.000-04:00

ROUND 2

July 10th at 1 pm, round 2 begins in her office. Which person will show up? The Pitbull (sorry, hate to use a common stereotype, but it was used by someone in a conversation on this topic and it is stuck in my brain now) or the lamb. My money is on the Pitbull, as it's in her office.

Our plan: Greg does most, if not all, of the talking. Hopefully this way I won't hurt anyone! He did very well in round 1, so hopefully he can keep that same calm disposition for round 2.

Update: Well, odds are that this meeting on the 10th is going to be about why we are being refused.... sighhhhh. So Greg and I are trying to prepare ourselves for this - should we defend ourselves or question her statements, or just say fine... write it up and we will see you later? I am leaning towards write it up and see ya - that way, we get away from the Dark Side and maybe go to other bureaucratic bodies, with the hope that these bodies are honest, professional, forthright, non-intimidating... well you get the picture. Keep in mind that we already have two reports (yes, that's right 2 reports, signed by the Dark Side) that say that we can adopt a child between 0 and 2 yrs.

2007-07-04T22:09:00.000-04:00

I would really appreciate everyone's input on this:

Our first wedding anniversary is coming up on August 4th! My question is what should we do to celebrate our first anniversary, that doesn't cost too much as we are trying to be fiscally responsible these days?

One idea I had was to invite everyone over for a bbq/pool party on the 4th - as we got married on an island alone, it might be a nice way to have everyone around us 1 year later.

Another option is to get a sitter in to look after the boys over night while hubby and I go off to a hotel for... well you know... sleep. Come on guys, the last time we both slept in beyond 6 am was 1 year ago!

2007-07-02T17:17:00.000-04:00

Lost 4.6 lbs this week!

2007-07-01T14:30:00.001-04:00

2007-06-30T16:57:00.000-04:00

We've got nothing but love to prove (Faith Hill):

Isn't it amazing that love should have to be proven? How do you measure it? Well according to the Dark Side, they have their own system of measurement... which of course they won't share, but we have somehow to prove that we have enough love for 4 children and that we will not cause them any undue risk by introducing a sister into the fold. How do you prove that? How do you argue that?

We are it seems a "healthy family". Why oh why would we want to introduce such a risk into our healthy family? Because we have the capacity to love, learn, teach, laugh and grow together... that's why. But that doesn't seem to be enough... just not enough.

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of fire
Those dreams that tie two hearts that will never die
And near the flames
The shadows play in the shape of the mans desire

This desert rose
Whose shadow bears the secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume that would torture you more than this

And now she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothings as it seems

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
The rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of love

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

Sweet desert rose
Whose shadow bears the secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume that would torture you more than this

Sweet desert rose
This memory of hidden hearts and souls
This desert flower
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of love

(Desert Rose, written by Sting)

2007-06-28T14:55:00.000-04:00

It went awful... just awful. It was a confrontational meeting right from the start, and we were on the defensive from the get-go. Yes, its clear to us what her mandate is: no way, no how should anyone be allowed to adopt. No way, no how should anyone be allowed to adopt an older child. Just because children are available should we be able to choose this path. Just awful....

2007-06-28T06:55:00.000-04:00

Today is the day - we meet with our new psychologist this morning at 9:30 am to be evaluated again for an older child adoption. I of course have to wake up with a migraine and this feeling of dread: are we wasting our time this morning? She is just going to figure out some way to say No in the end, because the Dark Side does not support older child adoption.

Greg feels that its the first step - my dream would be that Sun Yu knows that she has a family before her 8th birthday in September. I really hope this comes true for her and for us... but sitting here listing to my three boys scream upstairs, I'm not sure how to do it.

Need some purple power - hence the purple guitar. Will try to think of Greg playing this beautiful guitar for us while we go down this path.

2007-06-26T21:03:00.000-04:00

Happiness

Paris Hilton is freeeeeeee!!!! Happiness.... NOT! Why is it that she is the lead story on so many news sources? Who cares where she is, just as long as she isn't driving her cars around anymore!

Had an energized day. Man, it is so nice being off sugar - day 2 went well with 2 lbs of water gone in 24 hours. I had so much stuff going on today, that I didn't get to do what I really wanted to do: call the Children's and start setting up my preemie mom's night out. I did however contact the Career Counselor at work today to volunteer as a mentor, but guess what? She is off until July 30th! Man, foiled by summer holidays.

The other exciting thing is that I got confirmation that the worms are back from space, and everything seems to be a go!

Tomorrow is the big day - if our boss walks in with a smile, we are good. If he isn't smiling, we have a lot of fun coming our way with our business planning exercise. After what I learned last week, I will be smiling because I can!

2007-06-25T19:03:00.000-04:00

Just back from a week in Ottawa on training (again). This time it was Leading Transitions - rather appropriate considering what we are going through at work and at home. This course is about looking at yourself and your feelings, and recognizing what you may go through in a transitional period. It was all about....

Rough week for me- Kami and Marie-Claire forced me to go to a place I didn't want to go and I think in the end it was exactly where I needed to go. Met a lot of wonderful people including Nathalie, Korian, Kami - the triple L threat Each is a powerful leader in her own right, and I was inspired and touched by each lady. Wish I had a camera, would love to post a picture of our team... but alas, didn't think of it at the time.

I also had a chance to go to the Museum of Civilization to see the Treasures of China. What a great exhibit: two highlights for me were the tapestry with clouds (clouds are considered a good omen in China, as they bring life) and the final painting done by an artist who is from Jiangsu - a mix of modern and ancient China. I felt like our daughter was right beside me the whole way. Oh, and I mustn't forget to mention the jade - what amazing workmanship, with such a hard stone.

Now, back to reality. Finally got on the scale and discovered to my horror that I have gained 27 lbs since the last weigh in. I can believe it, given the head in the sand routine I have been using of late. So back on the diet again...today was day 1, and so far everything is good. Spent the afternoon cooking with Greg, so I have enough food for lunches and dinners all week without having to panic about what to eat and then devouring whatever I see. Thank heaven's its summer time and the fruit is just wonderful and cheap!

We all went for a bike ride or two yesterday Needless to say, our butts all hurt :o( Jacob sat in his new bike seat and would yell out "Wooohhhhooooo" whenever Maman would start pedaling or going down a hill.

2007-06-13T17:25:00.000-04:00

Great News about Jacob that I have to share: he is now in the 25th percentile for weight and, are you ready for this... 50% percentile for height!!!!!!!! And this is for his real chronological age, not adjusted (in other words, don't take the three months off of prematurity).

2007-06-12T15:26:00.000-04:00

We have our first appointment with our new evaluator for our update!!!!!!!!!!! Its June 28th in the morning (if everything goes well for DH and he doesn't have to work some crazy hours again). We will have a second meeting later on, where she will meet the kids and see their rooms, the house, etc. Should be a hoot if she wants to ask the baby what he thinks about having an older sister!

Everyone, please, fingers crossed, prayers please... we need all the help we can get to move things along in a positive direction.

2007-06-10T21:19:00.000-04:00

Perspective:

While doing something on the computer today, we stumbled upon some video's of Jacob in the NICU. I caught my breath, not realizing that we still had those films - I had, quite honestly, forgotten about them. Then I realized just how far we have come since that terrible, terrible time back in 2005.

To help you all understand where we have been and where we are now, take a deep breath and look at these two pictures of our little blond angel:

Jacob at 3 days old (28 weeks gestation)

Jacob at his 2nd birthday party

Perspective..... perspective.

2007-06-08T19:22:00.001-04:00

Well, I did a cool thing so I thought and it didn't work - I found this neat sound player and somehow it caused some source code problems so I deleted it.

The NeoEarth thing is really cool - I had no idea that people all over the world were coming in and reading my blog. So HI to everyone and welcome to my little piece of cyberspace. Don't be shy to leave comments, I love talking to people! I'll make an effort to keep up my postings a little more now... I honestly thought no one was coming over... duhhh.

2007-06-03T19:24:00.000-04:00

A few little updates:

Moved our ticker to the top, because I thought it would be easier to track our long wait if it was up top.

A few people have asked how long? Rumors are rampant that The Wait will go to between 2 years or even 3 years for NSN. We are also in the SN stream, and while I was going over my blog entries I noticed that I had written that we were waiting for a new batch of SN files to arrive at our agency. Well, a batch did arrive in late April but we were #3 on the wait list, and there were only 2 girls files that arrived. So we missed that batch of babies... which in the end was a good thing. It gave us time to think about and research adopting an older child, still from China. When I say an older child, I mean a child between the ages of 6 to 8 years old. We decided to pursue the adoption of such a child, and we were in principle "approved" by our evaluator after a thorough grilling. However, the Dark Side won a battle and we have since been fighting to exercise our rights. We took a serious blow to our Courage a couple of weeks back, but after a wonderful and inspirational evening of listening to Dr. Maya Angelou and talking with various adoptive mothers, we have decided to continue our battle for our daughter who will be between 6 and 8 years old.

We have notified the Dark Side that we wish to continue, and we got a bit of good luck: we have a new Evaluator who has come highly recommended (professional, trustworthy, honest) by several people. So we have hope again, and my Courage is back up - thanks to the wonderful Rainbows in the Clouds that have been surrounding me and hoisting me up to go back into battle. DH isn't completely there yet, but I have enough Courage for both of us right now. This just feels right, and we are really on the side of the Right - we are following our values, honestly and passionately. Our agency is also very much behind us - the Executive Director has a meeting with the boss of the Dark Side to bring our case and another 2 cases from other families that are having the same problems we are.

I have found our daughter's bedroom furniture, but we are waiting to buy it as it is mucho dollars... which we don't have right now. I have been quite good at not buying any clothing yet either. This has been extremely hard, as I do believe in Retail Therapy (to copy from Doris). My compromise it to buy hair stuff for her and particular dolls/toys that I know are hard to find. Clothing will come when I have a better idea of her size and the season when she will come home!

Tristan's surgery went well on Friday, but he did not react well to the anesthesia so we had a sick boy on our hands for a few hours. He is duly distracted by his new Gameboy and PS2, and I am able to get him away from those games to color from time to time - but it doesn't have the same effect as the games, unfortunately. He is still in pain and it definitely hurts to swallow, and he still has a fever today. It will be a slow march back to health... poor baby.

Zach goes to school tomorrow for the first time! My babies are growing up so fast, I can't believe I will have two in school come September. I also can't believe that I have been out of school for close to 17 years now.. yikes... sighhhhh.

2007-05-28T22:01:00.000-04:00

Nuts I am... yes, I know, completely NUTS...

Its all my secretary's fault really. She is the one who asked me about the SPCA and how to adopt a dog from there. Then she started looking on the website, exclaiming every so often "Oh, just look at that one... he is so cute" or "Ohhhhh Stef, you just have to look at this one. She is gorgeous." I held out for as long as I could, then, it was out of my control... I started to look. Then, I came across this one very handsome guy, and I just couldn't believe how beautiful he was. I sent an email to the lady who runs the shelter (oh- oh, you say) and asked for some info about him. His name is Zorro, he is 2 yrs old, and he is a cross between a Bernese Mountain Dog and a Collie, and he isn't in Rawdon where the shelter is based but in... are you ready for this... Saint-Basile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Literally, in my backyard, on the other side of the tracks. That was the end of it for me, as you can imagine.

I would like to introduce you all to Zorro, the latest member of our family:

2007-05-16T13:27:00.000-04:00

I said I wouldn't do this, but I can't resist...

Your kids at a birthday party, before the sugar:

Your kids at a birthday party, after the sugar kicks in:

:o)

2007-05-16T12:59:00.000-04:00

Moka and me

I know, I know... I haven't posted in a while and I think most of you now know why. Our much loved Berner, Moka Java, passed away unexpectedly April 19th at 4 pm at the young age of 6 1/2 years old. I have no idea what to write, because there is so much I could say about her, so I think I will just let the picture speak to how much of a wonderful, loved doggy she was.

We have her ashes with us now, so things have sort of gotten back on track in the house. Summer will sleep under the table, where we keep Moka's ashes... sort of her way of staying with her pack, I suppose. Tristan has gone outside, looked up to the sky on occasion and will call for Moka - he says he does this cause he wants her to come and play with him. Zach still asks intellectual questions, and Jacob will just say "Moka mort, Maman. Moka mort." When will we bury her, who knows. Right now, I need her close cause I miss my puppy.

Someone asked me recently if we would get another Bernese: my immediate answer was "Its too soon to answer that.". To Greg I have been saying, quite honestly, "No way. There is only 1 Moka.". Now that I look at that little puppy face, I'm thinking... maybe, just maybe another berner. For now, however, we are still working hard with Summer to get her to a good place. We have no idea what was done to her, but its taking a lot of leadership on my part to get her non-anxious and eating to put some meat on her bones. I am battling not only her deamons, but her breed too: it seems that German Shepards are whiners (if only I had known!). The Vet says that she is pleasantly surprised at how well Summer is doing with us - she is on the whole a calm, well socialized doggie and she is doing very well with her commands. Having said all this, its a lot of work for me, so for now, we will stay a 1 dog household.

2007-04-06T20:59:00.000-04:00

Wellllll.... here she is!!! SUMMER IS HERE!

Yes, that's right we finally found Summer... at the SPCA Montreal, last night at 8 pm, to be precise. She is a German Shepard crossed with a Collie, as far as we can tell; she is 1 1/2 yrs old and has a beautiful temperament with the kids. With Moka, we are having some domination issues but I think that was worked out today at the groomer's - seeing as they got locked into a room together! Then it was off to the Vet for both of them, and I think they were providing each other with emotional support as each one got blood tests and needles, and the dreaded thermometer in the butt! She has obviously had some training, as she heels beautifully... I plunged right in this morning, and walked both of them together side by side and it was the best! My left arm was killing me by the end of it, seeing as I was controlling 50 kgs of working dog power. Both dogs are completely crashed out upstairs, so I think we have reached a milestone of some form of stability for Summer and Moka.

The best Easter gift is the gift of Summer!

2007-03-11T11:22:00.000-04:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2007-03-05T21:32:00.000-05:00

ITS OFFICIAL!!!! January 30th 2007 is our LID (Log In Date)!!! That means that we are "officially" in the system - the next date, if we stay NSN, is the "Review Date" which is when our dossier will be officially reviewed, and found either wanting or perfect!

So here is what our timeline looks like:

Paperchase over: Nov 17 2006
DTC: Dec 27 2006
LID: Jan 30 2007

SN addendum dropped off at Formons: January 30 2007

Interesting that our SN addendum and our LID were on the same day, wouldn't you say?!?

2007-03-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a completely different image, then I found this one... which reminded me of my mom and her "magic dancing shoes". Everyone needs a pair of magic dancing shoes! So here you are... your very own pair.

The original idea behind posting tonight was to scream from the rooftops that Karen's husband James is hours away from seeing and holding Presley! Please go check out Karen's blog. They are so close! Presley Jordan's site.

We may have found relief for Greg, while I am away. Her name is Christiane, she is originally from Belgium and she is surely in her 60's. She seems to be really nice, and the boys have taken to her - even Jacob ended up giving her a hug as she left! Keep you fingers crossed that this will work - just watch, now that we have found someone, the boys will never be sick again!

2007-02-25T03:24:00.000-05:00

Can you see the smile on Tristan's face, under his hockey mask????!!!! He just loves to play this game. This was at his last festival, in Montreal.

2007-02-25T02:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right... its 3 am and I am up with the worst virus bug I have ever experienced! I have been flat on my back for 2 days now, unable to move. But now, I am awake and can't sleep cause I am delirious - great!

Watch out everyone out there - this one is nasty. You think you have the flu, then you think you have gastro, then somehow it mutates to a cold/cough/fever thing with stomach so sensitive that you can only eat chocolate (I kid you not!). The boys each had it, and Jacob has it again... so another week off perhaps, and Greg and I are running out of sick days/vacation days. Thank Heaven's end of fiscal year is only a month away, and I get my full complement of days off!

We have put ads in the local papers trying to find someone to sit for us, but no luck yet - a 12 yr old, a 13 yr and a 16 yr old answered the ads. We have also contacted a couple of Nanny agencies, but good luck trying to find one that wants to live on the South Shore of Montreal and take care of potentially 4 kids! One lady was very nice and said whether I liked it or not, she was going to make it her personal crusade to find us someone cause she thought we were "normal'! Ha... I guess there are a lot of "not normal" people out there trying to find child care for their children.

We have been waiting for "The Phone Call" re dossiers arriving at our agency, but nothing yet has come in. They did request some new files at the end of January, and it can take up to 6 weeks before they arrive... we hoped that maybe some would arrive during the Chinese New Year holiday, and that we would get the phone call on what would have been Dad's 70th birthday, but none have. So we wait for another 3 weeks or so at least. Maybe on my birthday we will get the news? Or maybe March 24th... Jacob's first day home with us in 2005, and the day we celebrate his "birthday".

Some good news though: Karen, our resource person at Formons, finally got her TA (travel authority) after waiting over 200 days!!! She is happily running around getting stuff done for Presley's arrival. Her husband will be leaving March 2nd - such excitement!

2007-01-29T15:39:00.000-05:00

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
*
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

This was sent by my friend Rosy... thanks Rosy, for making me stop and feel special.

2007-01-29T14:37:00.000-05:00

So here I am waiting patiently for the mail to come... for our SN ADDENDUM!!! Yuppie, happiness and glee on Friday (and thereafter of course). I contacted our SW via email, but he had no clue, so I called the Centre de Jeunesse and the very nice lady who answered confirmed, with much fanfare, that the addendum was in the mail!

What does this mean? It means that when the next batch of special needs dossiers comes in to our agency, and if there is a little girl with either a cleft lip/palate, minor heart defect (ASD, VSD, PDA), hernia, mild hearing loss, extra digits, then the agency will call us and ask us if we are interested (as if we would say no!). Then, I think, we get the dossier and we can then go and speak to the specialists to make an informed decision. Now, if there is no one in the next batch that matches us, then we continue to wait for the NSN. We are waiting also for the LID (log in date for our file), which theoretically should be today, as our DTC (date to china of our file) was December 27 2006... if everything goes well that is.

On another happy note, we had our MNO (Mother's Night Out) on Saturday waaaaayyyyy out in Dollard, which is about 1 hour drive from the house. It was worth it - I had a great time talking to Doris, Wanda, Sandra, Rosie, Justina and Lisa. I left them (boohoo) after dinner to go and talk to Karen for a bit - poor Karen is STILL waiting for her TA (travel approval) to go and get her daughter, Presley. She is approaching 200 days of waiting, and it is starting to show that she has had just about enough of the wait. I can't blame her.

Stay tuned for the arrival of the mail - I will be dancing up and down when I get it into my hands let me tell you! (Let's just hope it arrives before I have to leave for the nation's capital tomorrow night for the rest of the week... yes I am leaving THE BOYS alone for 3 days - keep your fingers crossed that the house will still be standing when I get back!)

2007-01-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

Beautiful, isn't she? Princess Dai - her serene face, wind swept appearance made me think of conviction and strength in the face of a wind storm. And boy are we in the thick of one.

For those that still check to see if I am posting (sorry about that), so much has been going on in this New Year that I don't even know where to begin. I will start with the adoption, because we really need some prayers.

We have a meeting with our social worker on Monday at 11 am to get an update to our adoption home study which was completed back in November. If you recall, we had quite a delay in receiving our home study from the Centre de Jeunesse because our SW had to "defend" us. Well, it's come to light that he had to defend us for 2 hours. For what, he won't tell us at all (he just responds that "You don't want to know"). Our SW at first refused to do our SN update because he didn't think we would be approved. So Greg and I thought about it for a week, and we finally decided that we were going to go at this full steam ahead. I called the Centre de Jeunesse to ask them what we had to do to be able to proceed. They told me to contact our SW who did our home study. When I explained that he refused to do it, because he doesn't work for them anymore, the lady at the Centre de Jeunesse told me she would contact him and ask him to do it for us. Then our SW called us, all surprised, saying that he would do it for us at it seems that they (Centre de Jeunesse) want him to do. Instead of just doing it over the phone, however, we have to meet in his office for 1 hour and he will charge us for 2 hours, where the second hour will be for writing up the addendum letter. He warned us that its not a given that we will be successful, and that its not going to be easy. So Greg and I are preparing ourselves the best we can for this grilling, but its a little hard to know what to think - should we even be hopeful? - when we have no idea why there is a problem with our dossier.

Our resource person, at Formons, is being very supportive and writing to us almost every night with words of encouragement. Its so frustrating to not know what the problem is, when we know beyond a shadow of doubt that we would be a good family for an SN child. We have so many resources at our disposal - pediatrician, 2 ORLS, speech therapists, preemie clinic, pediatric cardiologist, nephrologist, ergo therapists. I could call any of them up and have an appointment within a day or two! The vast majority of people don't want to go the SN route because they don't feel equiped to deal with health or developmental issues - we've dealt with a great deal of them. SO WHERE IS THE PROBLEM????

The other item on our plate, which appears to be getting better, is the boys and their ability to deal with frustration. We have seen a pediatric psychologist twice so far, once with the boys, and we have made real progress this past week with Tristan. We are now using a Sun/Cloud method of highlighting unacceptable behaviour, with a reward of 10 minutes of computer time if they should finish the day with a Sun. Tristan is trying very hard, and he has so far been successfull 2 out 3 days; Zach on the other hand is not quite able to do it yet.

2006-12-30T09:04:00.000-05:00

Great news... we have our DTC (Date to China)!!! Its December 27th.

For those that don't understand what this means: our dossier was reviewed by a Notary, Foreign Affairs in Ottawa, and the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa. Now its off to China to be Logged In: nothing too romantic about that, it just means its going to be entered into the CCAA system - and that will be the date that we start counting down from (15 months of waiting roughly now)- January 29th, or there about's. Just before the Chinese New Year - which is Feb 18th this year, the Year of the Pig.

Bouncing off the walls last night when we got the news from Karen - the champagne was sweet, but we are paying for it this morning (we don't usually drink).

Just had to share the happiness in our household! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY... and its a GIRL this time!!!

Bring on the pink!

2006-12-26T20:05:00.000-05:00

What a surprisingly nice Christmas we had! I guess it helps to not have any expectations, and just let things happen as they will. We celebrated on the 23rd, as the boys are with their father this year. Greg and I kept saying how much more relaxed it was to have it a couple of days before the 25th - if you are missing something, its no biggy - the stores are all open. Then when the stores are closed you can actually just veg on the couch - I slept until noon on the 25th!!!

Small amount of presents for all the kids is the trick, let me tell you. Three presents each... ok, 4... oh damn, all right 5 then... made all the difference this year. The other thing that helped is the two older boys got basically the same thing from Santa. The kids had a great time playing hockey in the garage with Grammy Carol - they kept asking and asking her to play. We had a feast and half on Saturday too - I think I just dropped after baths were done. Surprised myself that we could have an adult conversation after the day we had.

My mom really made this Christmas so special for me. For years I have hated Christmas - it would usually involve my father passed out somewhere, or my ex being equally drunk and obnoxious. This year, I didn't have time to think about Christmas past, and like I said, I didn't have any expectations - Greg and I did not exchange gifts this year, for instance. Our gift to each other is to go out on New Years, with our friends, and then to stay at a hotel and have breakfast in bed. Couldn't think of anything more romantic than that!

So back to one gift that I didn't have the proper time to acknowledge, because of everything that was going on. My Mom contacted an Ottawa reporter (Shelley Page) who has adopted two girls from China, and who has written a number of columns on her adventures in China, her adoption route, and her experience adopting during the SARS scare. Mom put together this great package, from Shelley, and I have been reading all of her stories. Did you know that the day before Mother's Day in Ottawa, there is a special Birth Mother's Day celebrated at the First United Church? What a great idea - every birth mother has her own story, her own reason why she gave her child to adoption. Why shouldn't we celebrate Birth Mother's too? Another great idea, thanks to Shelley, is to have a babysitter who speaks Mandarin come in twice a week to give her girls a chance to speak freely in their first language. Another good view point that she writes about is as follows:

"I'm waiting for the day I read a newspaper story that begins something like this: "Joe Blow, a prominent lawyer who was born by caesarean section 43 years ago, was charged with impaired driving yesterday."

Or maybe:"John Smith, the CEO whose life began in a Dixie cup thanks to an unidentified sperm donor reading Hustler, has been implicated in the latest corporate fraud scandal to rock Bay Street."

....

Instead, I've been reading stories like this" "Yellowknife police officers charged Michel Chretien, the adopted son of Prime Minister Jean Chretien, with sexual assault July 27.'

Kids come into our lives in lots of different ways these days. But it's only adoption that is routinely mentioned as a qualifier to the parent-child relationship, particularly when there are criminal charges involved....." (Ottawa Citizen, August 10 2002, Shelley Page)

Write on Shelley, write on...

2006-12-18T09:45:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what this images has to do with adoption... but it made me feel better - maybe she is our Adoption Super Hero?!

Got confirmation from Karen, our resource person, that our dossier is still in Ottawa. It should be back at Formons this week. Now, does this mean that its at the Chinese Embassy or at Foreign Affairs, not quite sure. I think that if it comes back this week, then it will get sent to China just before Christmas. Keep fingers and paws crossed that it is sent and received in China before January 1st - I'm not 100% sure if the new fee structure affects us when we send the file to China or not. Karen seems to think not, but we shall see.

2006-12-18T09:19:00.000-05:00

What a strange birthday party we went to on Saturday night!

Our friend Connie has finally matured, and is now among the old people - she turned 30! We and some of our friends (35 of us to be precise!) had reservations - I repeat, we had reservations - for 9:15 pm. We didn't get seated until 10:15 pm. The waiter/waitress didn't even acknowledge our presence until 10:30 pm. Orders taken at 10:45 pm! We left at midnight, considering we had our wonderful part time nanny, Pat, looking after the boys. Desserts and coffee hadn't been served yet! Never, never, never going back to l'Academie... ever! The food was passable, btw, but barely so. The veggies were overcooked, and the chicken in a lime sauce had barely the taste of lime. It seems to be the "in" place to go, judging by the amount of young and trendy people there. Quite sad that these 20 somethings have no clue what a good restaurant is. I guess they expect that if they pay $25 for a steak it must be a good restaurant.

Now, on a better note, had quite a good conversation about Australia with Keith and Greg. It seems that their favorite place for wine tasting was Rosemont Estates, and their second favorite was Jacob's Creek. Rosemont Estates was more relaxed and they tasted some Porto which they really seemed to enjoy. Then we got to talking about adoption - the whats and wheres and hows. Quite a few questions from Tasia and George, who are very interested in adoption - we shall see if they decide to go down that route.

I am home today with a very sick baby. Jacob has a very bad case of gastro and a virus on top of that - it might all be the same virus. He was a lump yesterday - he watched TV almost all day. This you think is great, right? Well this child NEVER watches tv for longer than 2 minutes. He couldn't do anything yesterday, except sit there... the crying came later in the day. He is sleeping now, an exhausted sleep I think. He is so much better today - except for the liquid coming out of his butt. I at least get smiles from him and he was wandering around looking for stuff to do this morning. I have to thank Martin L. for this bout of gastro - if he had only kept his children home instead of bringing them to daycare, we wouldn't be in this situation. His son throws up in the parking lot, and he brings him into daycare and leaves him there all day. Then his daughter who looks white as a sheet, with red rimmed eyes, comes in the following day; Martin says to the educator that his daughter wanted to come in, what was he going to do? Maybe say "No honey, your sick, your going to have a fun day with Mommy or Daddy today"?!!! Oh, and for those that don't know, Martin is the president of our CA, which oversees our daycare... I WANT A NANNY!!!!

2006-12-14T19:48:00.000-05:00

Oh boy.. am I cranky... I am tired, and exhausted, and I have a tonne of laundry to do, there are dust bunnies everywhere (actually, there more like growing a new dog, then dust bunnies), and, and, and... I just want to go to bed.

Who do I take it out on? Of course, my husband. The problem is he is tired too, so he ain't putting up with nothing.

How do other women do it? Have a full time job, kids, husband, dog, house... I really want to know cause I just don't seem to be able to do it anymore. Oh, and I have been craving chocolate now since yesterday 3 pm (I'm on a diet again... gained 10 lbs since we got married). I've lost 5 lbs so far, so I just have 30 lbs to go - for those that don't know, I gained about 30 lbs with Jacob's pregnancy on top of the 30 lbs or so I had gained during my divorce. I have lost 50 lbs, put back 10 lbs and now I have 30 lbs to go. The math doesn't make sense... don't try to figure it out. End result is I would like to be in the 150lbs one day. The moral of the story is no chocolate.. and that is not helping my mood.

Great.. there goes the buzzer for the clothes.. only ten thousand more loads to go!

I think I have to go with Doris's interpretation of things: although she has been at it longer than me, I think perhaps I am going through something similar. These new rules that the CCAA has come out with are really stressing me out. I am just waiting for the hammer to fall somewhere and there goes out dream of raising a daughter. I wish I knew where our dossier was, that might help. To see the possible new rules, go to Doris's site (3d's) on the right. Too tired to figure out how to paste the link into the text. The thing that would sink us is the second marriage business - we would have to wait 5 yrs before we could submit our application! Jacob would be 7 yrs old by then!!

2006-12-10T14:44:00.000-05:00

What a show!

Here are just a couple of the pictures taken at our Christmas show today:

And here are the boys (white helmets, only boys in the long line of girls):

It has to be one of the most nerve racking experiences of my life. I didn't think I would be that nervous... but once I got in position on the ice, I sort of went "what the f*** are you doing here!". I landed everything (almost... the lutz continues to be a challenge), and I didn't fall. I was told that I looked elegant and graceful, and that I had a smile on my face - all good things, as all I wanted to do was not to make a fool of myself. I didn't fall once :o) Now, back to the nerves: it took me over an hour after I was done to not feel like I was going to throw up! Thank Heaven's the first time is over, and I won't have to do that again!

The boys did really well. They didn't race off, and they followed the instructions really well. They really enjoyed the experience too.

I want to send out a heartfelt thank you to all my friends who came out to cheer me on: Julie, Nicolas, Danielle, Micheline, Pierre, Rosie, Patricia, Greg, Tristan, Zachary and Jacob - you made me feel like a million bucks out there with all the houting, clapping and screaming. Just having you all there made this day so very special for me.

2006-12-05T16:41:00.000-05:00

Getting ready for Christmas - thoughts of menus, gifts and most importantly what to do with the boys for two whole weeks! I think this year I am going to have a master PLAN, with a capital P, cause otherwise it will be a miserable time for all of us. I am hoping for lots of snow, so the two older boys will be outside. I found a street light, that has red, yellow and green lights, which can be used for noise levels - if its too loud, the yellow light goes on, etc - and I am seriously thinking about getting it. I think I am getting old, I just don't have the patience for the screaming and yelling that the boys are managing to do every night when we get home... but I digress.

So back to getting ready for Christmas: toys for the boys are bought, except for one thing which seems to be sold out everywhere. Its an old toy, as a matter of fact, but the boys really seem to love it: its a hockey rink, with hockey players on top and you pull on the nobs to control a set number of players and the goalie. Can't find it anywhere - sold out! Who would have thought?! It looks something like this:

Thought maybe too the boys could do some scrapbooking of their own, some Bingo, maybe some Logix (game from school that Tristan is having trouble with)... hey I see something forming: a board game day, a scrapbooking day, a snow day, an arts and crafts day, a do nothing day, a pj day, a baking day... boy I'm on a role!

No idea what to get Greg... none, nada. This is going to be hard this year! Besides, he reads this so I'm not about to post what I am getting him.

I've got the teachers/bus drivers/coaches done too: gift certificates :o)

I know what I really want: a night and morning out with my hubby (after all, we are newly weds!) and another dog! Ya, right Stef... 3 kids, one husband, one full grown dog, add a puppy and a daughter in about 15 months... CRAZY!

2006-12-05T16:22:00.000-05:00

The Christmas show is on! I will be skating to Tea with Mussolini on December 10th at 10 am, at the Jean-Rougeau Arena in Saint-Basile (10 rue Bella Vista). The boys will be on at 9:45 am. They will be the ones at the end of a long line of girls.

Tristan passed his swimming level (Poisson-Lune) and he is now a Crocodile. Zachary, our fish, however, did not pass Salamandre as to quote his teacher "he is too comfortable in the water"! He just floats or sinks, either one is fine and doesn't bother him - problem is he is supposed to be swimming 2 m and it just doesn't do it.

2006-11-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

This post is for Patricia!

Get this, I do a search for "Down in the Dumps" picture and I get this one. Put a smile on my face, let me tell you!

Why "Down in the dumps?" Well, I'm checking the usual discussion groups and I come across a post about sending packages to China. It seems that you are supposed to keep packages to a shoebox size, as the mail carriers over in China ride bikes or are on foot. If the package is too big, then the orphanage staff have to go and pick it up... and most don't go and get it. Well, wouldn't that have been nice to know about a week or so ago. That package of snowsuits will just sit there then and no one will benefit from it.

We received our package from Formons, outlining the next step we have to do for the adoption including paperwork with Immigration. Didn't have much time to look through it last night, but Greg tried to fill out the online form and gave up after a while - figure he better look at the guide first, before filling out a bunch of pages that he can't save. So I guess we have passed a hurdle, since we got a package of more paperwork to complete. Waiting to hear about DTC/LID... hopefully for Christmas.

2006-11-24T19:10:00.000-05:00

So I did it - I went to Walmart and I bought the pinkest snowsuits I could find, along with hats and mits, and I packed them up into a box to send to Da Lian, in China. This is the place where Karen's daughter is from and its in the northern part of China where there is snow on the ground all ready. Am I nuts? Oh ya... look at the size of the box they fit in!

You can also see a tube of play doh in there, btw. The lady at the Post Office asked if it was rush or not. I said no, it wasn't a rush. Good thing, cause Rush would have cost $260! So to send it by boat, it cost... get this... $69 ($4.50 surcharge for gaz). A little more than I expected, but it was worth it. Greg was just glad I wasn't sending books too - the whole package weighed maybe 2 kg (thank heavens!).

My colleague from work helped to translate the letter too. I tried using BabelFish, which worked really well (thanks Karen!), but William so wanted to help, so we did it as a team thing. Here is the letter:

So, here I am driving away from the Post Office, thinking to myself that hopefully two little girls will be warm this winter and they will look cute. Then it dawns on me: don't the Chinese put there young into suits that don't have bums, so that the kids can do there stuff more easily (read, no diapers... you get the picture). Oh damn, did I just do something stupid, sending them North American snowsuits? Then the next thought: oh ya, the girls will look really cute but will they be made fun of by the kids that don't have a new suit, cause its so pink? What have I done?! At least the Play Doh isn't so bad... right?

I know my intentions were good - I just wanted to keep a couple of kids warm - but I am honestly wondering if I have done the right thing now? The Director is probably going to think I am some crazy Canuck now - I was initially going to write to the Director that I was a friend of Karen's, but then decided against it, just in case they might think I was bribing them (which I am not/was not.. just for the record). Well, I can only hope that the size 24 month suit will go to a child that has all ready passed onto the potty, but what about the 18 month suit?

2006-11-21T16:02:00.000-05:00

I just don't know what to do for Karen, our resource person. I have just read the saddest post from her - she still hasn't got her TA to get her daughter from Dalian, China, after 17 weeks of waiting - and I wish I knew the words to help her get through this, but I just don't. I know some of you from Formons read my posts, maybe you have an idea or two. I was thinking maybe sending her some bright flowers - like daisies - to maybe cheer her up. Is there something else that she would like? As its the whole family that is going through this, I thought maybe flowers would work as everyone would see them.

2006-11-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

I was on fire tonight on the ice!!!

I was landing everything and beautifully too. My coach was so impressed, that she gave me free time at the end of the lesson cause I was so close to landing that axle - I didn't do it, but I have maybe a quarter turn left and I have it. We worked on it none stop for 15 minutes, over and over and over again. Looks good for the skating show on the 10th, as long as I don't get nervous that is!

Been looking for a skating dress, for the show, but I of course can't find anything. Its all made for little girls, not for 30 something mother's of three. My coach went so far as to offer to make me a dress, which I think I will take her up on... won't give any details, as I want it to be a surprise. You'll just have to come to the show and see for yourselves!

Exhausted and sore and still glowing from a good skate.

2006-11-18T20:32:00.000-05:00

The paperchase is done! We dropped off our file at Formons on Friday afternoon, November 17th 2006. Now its out of our hands, and in everyone else's hands.

For those that don't know, the paperwork required is quite extensive: birth certificates, letter of intent, home study signed and approved by the Centre de Jeunesse, marriage certificate and certification letter from the High Commissioner based in Ottawa saying that the marriage certificate is authentic, medicals, financial forms, letter from our employers as to our salaries and that we are in secure jobs. Finally the hardest part, which is quite comical, is choosing just the right pictures: 1 picture of the couple, 1 of the house, and 4 of the family doing things. However, there can be no pets, no alcohol in the pictures. A few of us have agonized over which photo would be best and which one would undue all of our file!

What happens next? Well, its off to the notaries then off to Foreigh Affairs, then to the Chinese Embassy. Somewhere in there in gets translated too. Then its off to China (DTC - Date To China) - we are hoping that this will happen at Christmas time. Then our LID (Log In Date) in China, which means its official in China's system. This should be around January if everything goes smoothly. So let's just hope that all the T's are crossed and all the I's dotted, and that its smooth sailing.

As far as we are concerned though, we are officially "pregnant" now. As Julie said to me over the phone, this step is the equivalent of passing the 12 week mark in a pregnancy and the next step is the ultrasound - the actual referral, with a picture of our daughter! How exciting!!

2006-11-15T11:23:00.000-05:00

Clare Leeuwin-Clark, Figures, Home Study

available at http://www.leeuwin-clark.dragnet.com.au/index.htm

Our homestudy has been approved!!!!

We got the call yesterday, by our Social Worker. It seems that our family is a little complicated (really? us, complicated??) and he had to explain things a bit more. He explained everything, and the director signed it off and sent it to us in the mail. So I'm running to the mail box today, and if it doesn't come today, I'm running home tomorrow to get it. Then its 4 copies of our entire file that has to be done, and then run it over to Formons so that they can send it to the Chinese embassy for authentication, translation, and being notarized, etc. Then its off to China! Rather fitting that this should happen during the month of November, as it is Adoption Month. We are just beside ourselves - Greg has this wonderful grin and says "Hi Mama!" over and over. I'm going to be a mom again!

2006-11-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

Not 100% sure, but we think that Tristan has chicken pox, and not gastro... so no visit to the hospital tomorrow, as we don't want to carry in such an easily transmitted virus to the kids that can least handle it. I say that we aren't sure, cause he was vaccinated against it, but there is a case of it in his class at school. He has the lesions on his trunk, but he also has some on his legs which according to what I've read on-line isn't suppose to happen. Can't very well go to the clinic to check this out either, as its airborne and I don't want anyone to catch this. I am getting better, thanks to my wonderful husband taking up the slack all weekend. I got two full nights of sleep while he tended to the boys, crying out in the night or needing medication. I hate it when everyone gets sick - it really tests your patience, to have three boys screaming (because they aren't feeling well) all at the same time... hardest job in the world. Someone tell me when it gets easier please?

Hey Julie... thanks for checking out my new blog and leaving a comment!

Quiet weekend all around, even on the different sites.

2006-11-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

Tristan has gastro, Jacob has a bad cold and is on his pumps, and I have just started a cold/flu thing... joy. Going to be a great long weekend, let me tell you. Greg will have to get up every 4 hours now to give Jacob his ventalin, as I am going to take a decongestant (night time) which knocks me out. Poor Greg...

No news yet about our homestudy. Our SW gets back from Cuba this weekend, and he will be "defending" us on the 14th or 15th. Hopefully, its nothing major.

Karen, our resource person, is still waiting for her TA (travel authority). I can't believe how long it is taking for her to get it! I think she sent her letter of intent back in June. Poor Presley - she really needs to get here, in her families arms. Saying a little prayer to the TA Gods that it will come soon.

2006-11-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

Hmong New Year / Little girls -- Chinese Hmong traditional dress, Photos by Mee Vang, 12/6/2005

Trying to find a Name for our daughter is harder than I thought it would be. I thought the boys were difficult, and I would complain and vent on how there weren't any good boy names. Well, let me tell you it ain't easy trying to find a girl name that meets our criteria: can be said easily in both french and english, must be a strong name, of preference with a biblical background or a historical one, has to be one that cannot lead to teasing by other kids, a name that she will be proud to wear as an adult, and one that complements her Chinese name (what ever that may be, but which will be her second name).... phew.

So far on the very short list are the following names:

Evangeline
Maya
Chloe
Angelique (Angel in english)
Veronique (Veronica in english)

Angelique, from a historical background, would probably be perfect:

Ce prénom, qui rappelle une plante aux tiges vertes utilisées en confiserie, existe de longue date comme féminin du prénom Ange. Il fait partie de la littérature médiévale et des chansons de geste des troubadours. Dans le Roland furieux de l’Arioste, Angélique est une superbe Orientale égarée en royaume franc, qui subjugue les chevaliers de passage, chrétiens ou sarrasins. Angélique est aussi le prénom de la jeune fille rebelle décrite par Marivaux dans L’École des mères. Côté cinéma, Michèle Mercier a tenu le rôle de la sulfureuse Angélique dans la série télévisée du même nom. Assez répandu au XIXe siècle, il a failli disparaître de 1920 à 1960. Puis, il a connu un essor extraordinaire de 1970 à 1990, sans doute grâce au succès de la série télévisée, nommant jusqu’à 5 000 bébés par an. Il est encore donné à près de 500 fillettes tous les ans. On le fête le jour de la sainte Angèle (27 janvier).

Véronique is very interesting too from a biblical perspective:

Ce prénom existait il y a déjà deux mille ans : sur le chemin du Christ vers le Golgotha, Véronique (qui se fête le 4 février) essuyait avec un linge la sueur et le sang du Christ. Véronique serait une variante de Bérénice (du grec pherein, «apporter», et nikè, «victoire»), mais c’est aussi le nom d’une petite plante aux fleurs bleues. Jamais oublié, le prénom a connu l’essor à partir de 1950, avec un pic de popularité en 1963 (plus de 16 000 Véronique dans l’année !) et une décroissance ininterrompue depuis lors.

(My apologies to my english readers, but these quotes came from a french only website).

Chloe is nice and strong too.

Any thoughts or advice, or any other names we should consider, please don't hesitate to post!

2006-11-07T16:15:00.000-05:00

I HAVE A SOLO!!!!

Happiness and glee....

My coach picked "Tea with Mussolini" for my music, and we worked on the program a few times (like 5 or 6) last night. I start out with a "TA-DAH" move, and go immediately into a sit-change-sit, then into a bit of stroking to get the head to stop spinning, into a three-jump - cherry-flip combination. Then onto a Spiral, straight into a loop. Then immediately into a camel spin... then the wonderful foot work (don't remember it all, but it involves lots of mohawks!) to end in a flip-cherry-flip-loop combination. Then a bit of stroking, into a lutz, skate to the center of the ice and do an axle, then into a lay-back spin! How exciting! How exhausting... I got off the ice last night and felt as if I had been through the ringer. An older gentleman was there, waiting for the hockey practice to start, and he congratulated me on getting the heart pumping... not sure if he meant my heart or his!

So now onto more practicing, and finding an adult competition. A friend on the ice suggested I try for Adult Canadians this spring... then my coach piped in and said, "Why not the Olympics?". I really hope she is joking.

2006-11-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

The battle ranges on...The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

General Kenobi: Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars; now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person; but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to Alderaan has failed. I've placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope.

K... I feel better now.

2006-11-06T15:11:00.000-05:00

Blushing bride? Who me?... Not quite.

We've been married now for 3 months, we have 3 boys and our beloved dog, Moka Java, and we are both working full time. To add to this equation, we are on the road to adopt our daughter in China.

We are done the paperchase, as it were, and we are waiting for the homestudy report to be approved from the Centre de jeunesse. We started this official phase of our journey to our daughter on April 14th, 2006, Good Friday, when I dropped of our application to Formons une Famille inc, in Montreal. Its taken this long to get all our paperwork together, including getting married and getting the marriage certificate certified by the High Commissioner of the Eastern Caribbean nations, and ending with our dreaded Homestudy... which in the end wasn't so bad, as our resource person told us it would be. Now once we get the homestudy in our hands, and we get it off to our agency, we wait about 3 weeks for it to be authenticated and then translated, and then its off to China. A month later or so, its our LID (log in date) and then the official wait starts. As of today, its 14 months before we get our referral for our little girl but predictions are that it will get longer.

I am about to start a new job, as Senior Manager of Satellite Communications in the Strategic Planning Group. YUPPIE!!!! I will have worked in every CSA thrusts then - Earth Observation, Space Science and Exploration, and finally Satellite Communications. Hang on for the ride!

The boys are growing up too fast, and we can barely keep up with everything they are going through. Tristan is at school and loving it, Zach is turning into the big man on campus at daycare, and Jacob has learned how to say "NO!".

Greg and I have been able to clean out the garage this weekend, and surprise, surprise, the truck fits inside. Should have gotten a before and after picture... shoot, next time. This should be good for this winter then - no scrapping the ice of that windshield early in the morning!